As you sail the high seas of intimacy in search of your soul mate, you may ask yourself from time to time, and with some apprehension, is monogamy a myth? Will you ever find the loving and secure relationship you deserve? Is true love and fidelity possible in this modern age? In this article, we will examine the many aspects and issues of monogamy in a natural relationship.
In the animal world, there are only a few socially monogamous species. You, a homo sapiens mammal, are not on that list. Biologists have examined the monogamy issue and have created definitions for the various levels of the phenomenon. Coupling is simply being a “we” and is specific to Humans plus a few apes and birds. Social monogamy refers to marriage, with a little action on the side. The term sexual monogamy also means marriage, with sexual activity exclusive to the wedded partners. To keep things clean, clear and simple, you may want a sexually exclusive marriage.
But our nature is not monogamous, although we seek loyalty. Monogamy is a choice. There is nothing in our genetic make-up that demands sexual fidelity. We are not predetermined to seek one mate. A vow of monogamy is a manmade invention. It is a value and up to you to determine its worth.
Relationships take constant work. A successful union requires as much effort as maintaining a garden. Love is a daily job. Monogamy is the soil and the water for growth and depth.
To what do you aspire? There is great nobility in the trust that is inspired by a vow of monogamy. It is a simple statement. It pledges: “We will share our lives with friends, family and the world, but sexually, we will only share each other.” You have created something special, something unique and exclusive. Just for the two of you.
Temptation is always present. As humans, we get bored easily and are always looking for adventure. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. As you chase a screaming toddler while carrying a load of laundry, you might be tempted to fantasize about a Las Vegas swimming pool, a glass of wine and a male model that is asking if he can rub some lotion on your back. Men have these fantasies too, perhaps hourly.
Given our human condition, we offer some tips that can help feather your nest and keep your man’s attention where you want it. Whether or not you can be monogamous is a question only you can answer and it helps to take any commitment day by day. Our Greener Pastures Pointers make your side of the fence look best. You can create a comfort from which he will never stray. These tactics won’t work for girls who don’t know what they want. It takes an assertive and independent woman to take charge of her relationship.
1. Gratitude
Your man needs to feel loved. He needs to be important. Men can be quite sensitive. Pet him. Let him roar as the Lion King. In small ways, let him know how grateful you are to be in his life. Every little attention that you give will go a very long way.
2. Listen
Few of us actually do. This is the simplest and most effective of any technique. There is always something new and interesting about someone you know very well. Just listen for it. When you truly listen, you are placed in an attitude of curiosity and wonder.
3. Shake up the routine
Men get bored easily. Simply change his schedule and he will think life is exciting and fresh.
4. Be alluring. Use your assets!
Use your assets. Understand what he liked about you when you first met. Enhance those qualities. Tease him with them. Men are simple. Just keep something out of reach and he will want it more.
5. Make love often
Enough said.
6. Let him do his thing
As long as it doesn’t compromise your values. If it does, he probably isn’t the right man for you. Let your man have his own life and be his own person. Give him space and don’t try to share everything. He needs a hobby or an interest that is his own.
7. Share
Find a hobby or an interest that you have in common. Let it be one that involves some action and movement. Something that you can both work on together and independently. Something with a goal or an objective from which you will feel a sense of accomplishment and mutual victory.
These Greener Pasture Pointers allow you to lead by example. don’t tell him what you want, show him. Monogamy is a joy, a value and a secret agreement that you share with your partner. Monogamy is neither a sacred traditioin nor a religious crime etched in hellfire.
Monogamy is a healthy modern choice. It is a sacred quest, a goal you will work toward throughout your Life. Your monogamy will not be easy and you will be tempted. Always remember: A thought is not an action. It’s okay to wink at the delivery boy. That’s fun. Your mate’s roving eye is not a crime; he’s just looking. That’s fun. That’s human.
Trust. Hope. Faith. These are the values that you want to find in a mate. These are the values that will define your life and your love forever. Is monogamy a myth? That’s up to you.
