Dear Jane is an informative relationship column helping others since 2001.
Planting the Seed
Dear Jane,
I am a rather shy man with a huge crush on this girl that I met while attending a networking party. It turns out she works with a good friend of mine. I told him that I was crushing on her. Well, he left a can of Orange Crush on her desk with a post-it note and my number. I am freaking out! She’s called me two times, and I was afraid to take either of them! Help!
– Crushed
Dear Crushed:
The only thing your well-intended friend did was plant a seed in her mind by leaving your number on her desk. However, if you do not take her calls, you are just letting that seed go to waste. Call her now!
– Jane
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Nurturing the Sprout
Dear Jane,
I’m a 47 year old woman, no kids, never married and am looking for a genuine man that I can spend my life with. After weeks of talking to a man on the phone and Skyping, I agreed to meet him for coffee. We had a very nice conversation and I find him attractive. We talked of getting together again and I’m so excited! He said he would call, but that was three hours ago and I haven’t heard anything. Should I call him? I feel like I am in High School again!
– Flustered
Dear Flustered:
He said he would call and he will. You have a mutual interest, and this is a very delicate stage. You want to give this situation enough room to grow without having your insecurities kill any possibility of it reaching full potential. Patience, Flustered. He will call you.
– Jane
Allow for Growth
Dear Jane,
I met a girl about 6 weeks ago, and have spent every moment of my free time with her since then. I am so ready to move it and get married! She is acting a bit standoffish and I don’t understand. We are perfect for each other, so why is she backing off?
– Stymied
Dear Stymied:
You are suffocating her. Nothing can grow without air, light and nourishment. You are taking these things away from her, forcing yourself on her with all your free time, leaving her with no free time and you expect what? Please, take her lead and back off – and give the relationship a chance to grow.
– Jane
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When it Blooms
Dear Jane,
I was caught off guard. I didn’t expect my casual relationship with a man to develop into something special, but it appears that it has! Suddenly, my heart is doing double beats around him, and the time we spend together is magical. What happened?
– Shocked
Dear Shocked:
When you date someone with no expectations, other than maybe he/she is interesting, magical things do happen. By “no expectations” I mean that you don’t have a specific relationship agenda that you adhere to. You just allow it to grow and flow naturally. Enjoy it!
– Jane
Keeping it Blooming
Dear Jane,
My wife and I have been married now for ten years. We have two children, and seldom go out. My wife acts like nothing is wrong, but she’s always too tired to do anything fun – forget having sex. She doesn’t work, and is always busy with the kids taking them places. What happened to our life? We had such hopes and dreams together. And she used to smile the most beautiful smile. I feel like it’s all gone. I’m not a cheater, but the Avon Lady is looking tempting to me these days.
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed:
You don’t say how you are helping her besides with your almighty presence. When was the last time you offered to take one of your children for her? Do you have date night? Can you get someone to watch the kids for you so that you can plan a romantic staycation? When was the last time you told her she was beautiful, or made her dinner, or brought her some daisies – just because? You are responsible for doing your part in this relationship – and picking up the slack so you two can run the ship as a team. Sit down, make a plan. You’ll see that beautiful smile come back when she discovers you’re participating and are not just an observer.
– Jane
About the Author:
Jane Wilcox is a professional intuitive, clairvoyant and angel communicator specializing in love & relationships. She provides loving advice, angel readings, and career/life path guidance with a compassionate perspective sprinkled with humor. She has authored many articles, hosted radio programs, and created her own unique deck of angel cards.
