We all want to attract love and romance into our lives. But attracting and keeping a partner eludes many of us. Settling for less than what we really want and projecting an energy of desperation are what interferes with our ability to magnetize a great partner.
People are looking for someone to love and share their lives with who will reciprocate that love. They are not looking for someone who is needy or desperate to hook up. If a man senses the stack of "Modern Bride" magazines hiding under your bed, he will run – and run fast. Exuding the fear of being alone will repel a potential mate.
- Instead of having men lined up from which you can choose, do you set your sights on one man and focus solely on winning him?
- Have you met a great guy, gone out and had a great time only to have him disappear with no explanation?
- Do you fill in as a "friend" when your love interest is in between relationships in the hopes that you will be seen as a great catch?
- Are you in a relationship, but notice that your man is just not that attentive or interested anymore?
- Perhaps you are quite physically attractive but you just can't keep a guy in your life.
Read on and learn how to become a magnet of attraction. Here are a couple principles plus tips that you can put into play and get results.
Self-Esteem and Confidence
You have to know who you are and what you want. The most charismatic people are those that project self-sufficiency and self-worth. You truly must love yourself first in order for others to love you. It doesn't matter what your family, social or physical background is – you can and should believe in yourself. People are attracted to strength, not neediness. The more self-sufficient and independent you become, the more attractive you become.
Confidence Tips:
- Write down all your talents, skills, character and personality traits and strengths. Embrace them!
- Note and write down your limiting beliefs – things you see as weaknesses and set out to change them.
- Choose to not pay attention to what others think about you and forego getting anyone's approval.
Once you stop worrying about how people view you, you can be authentic and confident. Your self-esteem will soar. You will be able to look people in the eye. You will be able to have fun whether you are alone or in a big crowd of people. Focus on being happy, on growing spiritually and reaching your goals – this will form the platform for confidence and self-esteem.
Get Smart About the Guys You Are Dating
Have you ever noticed that the more want a certain guy to notice you, the more you repel him? Then the moment you begin to ignore him and pay attention to others, he then begins to pursue you? And once you have his attention, if you again solely focus on him, poof! he's gone?
The above is an example of someone who likes the chase but is not emotionally available for a relationship. Learn to check out and classify your dates. This will help you keep some control and not lose yourself to someone who really isn't available for a long-term relationship and who will wreak havoc on your self-esteem. Some possible classifications are:
- "Friend"
- "Booty Call"
- "Loser - Run Away Fast"
- "Long Term Guy" (You can actually lose yourself and your self-esteem faster when you try to fit a guy into this category who really doesn't belong here.)
Guy Tips:
- Decide to go out and have fun, experience life and meet new people.
- During your first few dates, don't reveal yourself - let your date do the talking.
- Don't answer personal questions about what you are looking for in a dating experience – just answer, "fun, honesty and interesting conversation."
- Use this information to decide what category this man fits into. Let him know that you are sizing him up – and not the other way around.
- Never become a man's "booty call." If he wants to be yours, make him play by your rules.
- Make it clear that you aren't intimate with "friends."
Following these tips helps you to learn about the men who are pursuing you. It puts you in charge so that you don't fall into the trap of accepting whoever shows an interest in you. This strategy allows you to choose the person you want to allow into your life and what kind of relationship you want to have.
The more you know about yourself, the more confident and attractive you will be. You will know what you want, be determined to get it and won't settle for whatever is offered. As you take this stance, your self-esteem will soar and others will sense it. You will have men lining up and waiting for a turn to take you out.
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